Sean Thomas Dougherty
The Poetry of Care
It’s like poetry I want to tell this new staff: Stop telling the reader you have to lead them stop telling them to take a shower stop threatening beside that’s illegal did you know that is illegal this isn’t prison this is their home J you could use a shower are you saying I stink well sometimes you do have to say it but kindly no but today we are going on a trip and I want you to look your best but no this is the way J let’s go through your toiletries she likes to do things together let’s see what kind of soaps you have do you have lavender I know you like lavender and what is that shampoo you like the head and shoulders no no you don’t have dandruff no I don’t have hair look at this awesome towel you have the best fluffy towel you know let’s go put it in the dryer so after you take a shower it is warm and fluffy and let’s turn the heat up so the room is warm this room is cold I’m surprised you aren’t blue and let’s look at some photos of your sons while the towel warms they are getting so tall can you help me with your water you are good at turning on the water and getting it to the right temperature my hands are creaky nice job OK it is going to be cold today so maybe not those shorts where are your jeans and your Steelers shirt didn’t your uncle live in Pittsburgh that is so cool did you see games and lets go get your towel (now is the tricky part) and feel it now I’m going to leave and you can get in yourself and get dressed and then I’ll have your breakfast waiting and a cigarette and coffee the best way to start the day and then she is in the shower you see we didn’t tell her anything she did the choices which Dear Reader is like walking into a room and there is a woman and where is her voice it is mixed into everything this syntax this ramble and in the distance through the hall you can hear the water tumbling and yes as she washes if you listen you can hear she is singing.
The Woman Asks for Ranch Dressing
The woman asks for ranch dressing on her pancakes and the staff says no that’s silly you eat syrup on your pancakes and the woman huffs and balls her fists and pushes her pancakes away this woman wants ranch on everything her chicken her spaghetti her eggs all of which though I wouldn’t eat it is what she wants we all want different things and this woman has had a life what a life she worked as a nurse’s aide for years before getting drunk and driving down a dark Pennsylvania highway drunk leaving her daughter after a fight with her boyfriend and drove into the back of a slow-moving semi on I-80 and she is lucky I tell her too often too often I have to tell her lucky to still know who she is and have a daughter who loves her even if she cannot take care of her mother and now the motherfucking is starting the motherfucking this and that and I am not there am only being told this story the next day so this morning I make her pancakes this woman I have taken care of for near a decade who the new staff are stupid about I tell them listen does it hurt you to put ranch dressing on her pancakes can’t you eat whatever the fuck you want and of course I get a write-up but sometimes you have to be loud the same as these people I care for sometimes they have to shout out against the day to say I will start it too on my terms despite being told to take a shower despite being told they are always being told when they need to be asked and even if it is strange the answer what isn’t strange in this life and last night the moon was blood red and a few of us stood out there something we had never seen but this woman was asleep she didn’t see it so I told her about it but she isn’t listening right now she is waiting to see if she’ll get what she wants and what she wants is all any of us wants is to get the dressing we all deserve.
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Sean Thomas Dougherty’s most recent book is Death Prefers the Minor Keys from BOA Editions (2023). He works as a third-shift med tech and long-term caregiver for folks with traumatic brain injuries.