Aubri Kaufman
While in the Timbavati, I learn to distinguish bird calls. I learn that lilac-breasted rollers sound like monkeys, or something mammalian, when protecting what is theirs. I spot one, and learn that their colors are so vibrant, they look like they’ve been dipped in dye. I learn they are incredibly common. Of least concern, their conservation status reads. I learn that their commonality makes me sad, as if rarity would have validated their vibrance.
I learn that the wild dog population is depleting. Habitat fragmentation is fucking up their natural hunting patterns. I learn that the pups will rip a hotel blanket to shreds, if given the chance. I understand. I learn that two bottles of wine on New Year’s Eve is too much, but that a pink gin and tonic as the sun sets in the middle of the bush is just enough.
I learn to pay closer attention.
I learn that hyenas are more like cats than dogs and that some things are only in each other’s lives to serve as a reminder for what each has overcome. I learn to tell the difference between male and female elephants by the shape of their skulls, and whether they are right or left-handed from the wear on their tusks. I learn to examine a pile of shit and determine whether or not something is carnivorous, but I also learn that some creatures become mixed feeders out of necessity.
I learn to tell a kudu’s age from the turns in their horns, and that same night, I learn how it tastes and what it should be served with. I learn that this does not make me as sad as picking up packaged chicken on my way back to the apartment. Something about a complete lifecycle, perhaps. I learn that not all attention is good when I encounter a territorial warthog mother on foot. This is the one I wish I’d learned years ago. I learn that lions are smaller than I thought they’d be. I learn which plants can save your life in a pinch, and which can end it in a different kind of pinch. I learn I like black tea after all.
I learn that the difference between prey and predator depends more on circumstance than predisposition, and I learn that through my life, I have been both.
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Aubri Kaufman is a writer and a therapist from New Jersey. She is the co-founder and co-EIC of Icebreakers Lit. Her work can be found in Pidgeonholes, HAD, Rejection Letters, The Daily Drunk, and elsewhere. She wants to talk to you on Twitter – @aubrirose.