Wyley Frohlich Jungerman
I’m your unemployed friend on a Tuesday. I’m digging holes in the backyard and burying medium to large stones in them. I’m at the Lutheran church pretending to be a homeless person. I’m double fisting Benadryl and cetirizine hydrochloride. I’m bartering at Goodwill. I’m in the kitchen at IHOP shooting up fent with the line cook. I’m in the kitchen at IHOP making out with the line cook. I’m in the IHOP parking lot fistfighting the line cook. I’m taking a nap at 2:38 in the afternoon. I’m in the breakroom at your job talking about Lacrosse with your coworker. I’m spotted in a Bigfoot costume at Dodger Stadium. I’m at Petsmart petting the cats. I’m skydiving… in Belize. I’m drinking a Miller Lite by the river. I’m washing it down with a triple dose of ashwagandha and a 500 mg sativa edible. I’m participating in Elon Musk’s Mars expedition. I’m in line behind you at Walmart. I’m at Coachella. I’m taking a five hour walk through the forest. I’m having dinner with your parents. I’m driving down to the Gulf of Mexico to see the Galveston beach. I’m tweeting about how much I hate sand. I’m driving my car through the Las Vegas Sphere. I’m talking my way out of jury duty. I’m scuba diving in Cape Town, South Africa. I’m hungover at Denny’s. I’m going canoeing with your mom next week. I’m hiding in the IKEA until closing and sleeping there overnight. I’m eating breakfast in the IKEA food court. I’m walking your baby cousin to the bus stop. I’m flying a helicopter over the Grand Canyon. I’m participating in a triathlon. I’m trying speed with Lindsay Lohan. I’m playing slots at the WinStar World Casino. I’m in a photo with Mitt Romney. I’m trimming your neighbor’s hedges. I’m marveling at the beauty of being both gay and sentient on this Godforsaken rock. I’m being escorted away by park rangers because I keep trying to jump into Yellowstone’s Grand Prismatic Spring. I’m playing Mario Kart on your couch. I’m raising chickens from eggs. I’m naming them all Terrence. I’m explaining that I know chickens are all girls, that’s what makes it funny. I’m joining the Peace Corps. I’m at the Chicago pride parade. I’m trying to trade in my car at the dealership. I’m helping your roommate plant roses in the backyard. It’s taking a while because we have to dig up all those stones I buried.
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Wyley Fröhlich Jungerman just got laid off by Forever 21. His work has appeared in 101 Words, JAKE: the Anti-Literary Magazine, IHRAM Publishes, and others. His work is forthcoming in Ink in Thirds.