Sarah Etlinger
Esther in the Suburbs Is the Token Jew Who
explains Purim to the neighbors. Makes Hamantaschen & finds a gragger & an old basket. Drapes her head in a scarf as a costume. Collects cookies & candies in small Ziploc bags & hands them out to all the children on the block whether they have a costume or not. Grills chicken outside in the roofless pergola at the park for Sukkot. Fries latkes & presses chocolate into molds for gelt & buys rainbow-colored dreidels for the elementary school students. Skips over the long parts in the Haggadah at the neighborhood seder table. Counts & recounts the Omer, forgets again & again to do it & starts over each day. Slices apples & honey, places challah & pomegranates on plates at the harvest festival. Does not fast at Yom Kippur. Tells her friends it’s the holiest day of the year. Atones, but is never sure what for.
Esther in the Suburbs Is the Mom Who
is bad at school pickup & drop-off. Too early sometimes & one of the latest often. Never has a snack or a craft waiting or a plan. Takes everyone home. Packs school lunches every day with those applesauce packets for toddlers & those disgusting tubes of non-nutritious sugar-laden yogurt. Slices open bags of salad that show the green lettuce, wrinkly as skin too long in the bath, sharp carrot swords, & neat squares of dressing, nuts, seeds, as if seeing what is inside makes anything easier. Doesn’t it? Is a reluctant mother. Loves her child. Keeps a secret stash of ice cream in the freezer drawer like an old locket or a love letter. Understands what we do for love often surprises us. Like the years & how they go slowly at first but then, faster and faster, a racer finding a stride or the brook running down the hill—faster & faster, tangled & more tangled, distant more & more from what you thought you were or knew or wanted or should be. Who reluctantly and confidently promises the new mother It gets better & means it, it’s as true as pachysandra, everybody says nobody says everyone is no one is everyone.
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Sarah Etlinger is an English professor who lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, with her family. A Pushcart and Best of the Net nominee, she is the author of four books, including the forthcoming A Bright Wound (Cornerstone Press, 2024). Work appears in Spoon River Poetry Review, Rattle, Identity Theory, Best Spiritual Writing, and many others. When not writing or teaching, she can be found cooking, baking, bird-watching, and spending time near Lake Michigan. She is on X @drsaephd.